Getting broken to avoid self-centeredness

by Shawn Martin

"True strength does not come out of bravado. Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant; our strength will be our own. So long as you think you are really something in and of yourself, what will you need God for? I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered; I don’t let a man get close to me who hasn’t faced his wound. Think of the posers you know—are they the kind of man you would call at 2:00 A.M., when life is collapsing around you? Not me. I don’t want clichés; I want deep, soulful truth, and that only comes when a man has walked the road I’ve been talking about. As Frederick Buechner says,

To do for yourself the best that you have it in you to do—to grit your teeth and clench your fists in order to survive the world at its harshest and worst—is, by that very act, to be unable to let something be done for you and in you that is more wonderful still. The trouble with steeling yourself against the harshness of reality is that the same steel that secures your life against being destroyed secures your life also against being opened up and transformed. (The Sacred Journey)

Only when we enter our wound will we discover our true glory. As Robert Bly says, “Where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be.” There are two reasons for this. First, the wound was given in the place of your true strength, as an effort to take you out. Until you go there you are still posing, offering something more shallow and insubstantial. And therefore, second, it is out of your brokenness that you discover what you have to offer the community. The false self is never wholly false. Those gifts we’ve been using are often quite true about us, but we’ve used them to hide behind. We thought that the power of our life was in the golden bat, but the power is in us. When we begin to offer not merely our gifts but our true selves, that is when we become powerful." (Wild at Heart , 137–38)

And why do we hide? Fear, aboviously - on many fronts. of not having control. not having the answers. of not measuring up. of not being as talented as the next guy. of our own limitations. fear of not having what it takes. where have we heard that before? In his book, Desire, John says a man's deepest desires always relate to his strength, one way or another... no matter how much a man achieves it is never enough, everyone expects you to do it again and again. that's why a man's worst fear is not measuring up. i can identify with all of those fears, even moreso with the 'what if' fears. if IFs and BUTs were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas, right? i will 'what if' myself out of so many decisions. instead of trusting what God is able to do, i worry about what MIGHT happen. are some of you like that? it's sad really, that fear often replaces faith. faith knows no fear. faith is trust and trusting God with the outcome.

right now i have some simmering fear over the upcoming Boot Camp. It was a huge success last September. then we had to turn around and cancel the February camp due to too few registrations. now as were are 6 weeks out from the October camp the Enemy wants to use that fear again. you won't get enough guys. you'll need to cancel again. you'll look foolish. what kind of ministry if this anyway? you might as well quit. some of you may know a similar scenario. but God is good, i know that. this message is good, i believe in it. men need this message, i've seen it. so i resist the Devil and his lies. and i trust God with the results. i don't give into fear.