As i reflect back on the last, oh, seven year i know there have been several times when i've asked myself what's wrong with me? what is my purpose? am i really any closer to the Father? And because of my own personal nature, it's easily to quickly slump into deminishment; that i'm no better off or not a 'better' Christian. Why are there periods of time when i still struggle to cultivate that daily relationship with God?
The truth is, there is nothing wrong with that because i am asking those questions from a different stage or season in life. i AM a different man from the last time i asked. i'm not just lost in the woods, circling back to the camp site over and over. Gary Barkalow calls it spinning in circles, but in an upward spiral. i think of 'two steps forward and one step back' still keeps you moving forward. i hope that i'm making more progress than that - but you get my point. So it's alright to ask those questions again and again. it shows that you are focused on making sure you're heading in the right direction.
2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us that we are being transformed with ever increasing glory into God's likeness.
Slow and steady wins the race. we will never be complete in this life. we will never "arrive" in our current bodies. there is not going to be a time in our present lives that we'll have all the answers and all the clarity. 1 Corinthians 13:12 makes it clear that right now we see things imperfectly like looking into a poor mirror but one day we'll see things clearly. and then the most promising part of the verse, "All that i know now is partial and incomplete, but then i will know everything completely, just as God knows me know".
So it is perfectly fine to continue asking and seeking clarity from the Father. He tells us to do that in Luke 11... ask, seek, and knock, right? He wants to answer us. He wants to be found. He wants to open the door.
It's easy to get distracted when you've got the Enemy prowling around looking for any way to destroy us. It's easy to second guess our maturity progress. The Father is simply asking us to walk with Him. Stay close and He'll give you more and more clarity. Your calling and purpose with continue to fine tune. Right now i feel like i'm doing what God would have me to do. So when i ask Him what my purpose is... where am i suppose to be? That question is not coming from a lack of understanding; wandering in the dark. it's coming from a desire to fine tune the direction i'm taking; bringing into focus more of God's clarity.
Don't get taken out immediately the next time you find yourself asking, who am i? what is my place in this story? take some time to reflect on the last months or even years since you asked the last time. take those questions to the Father and let Him tell you. what you'll likely find is that you aren't circling the camp but are actually on a spiral path upward in your relationship with God. each time you ask, it is from a point of having a little more understanding and experience than you had the last time.
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