Enter Their World

Some thing I have been reading about in the last month deals with the issue of codependency. Codependency is that inability to remain ourselves around certain people. For the life of me it doesn't make sense. I have been working through the why for the last couple months. I took this question to a coworker of mine to try to get a sense of this phenomenon. Our conversation led to a great discovery.

The common theme of these people shared one component across the board. Absent fathers! Even fathers that may have been in their kids lives, but not taken an active interest in what they like doing. I have been tooting my own horn for years because of how easy it is for me to spend time with my kids. I take them to the store, take them golfing, take them on errands. How much better can a dad get? Well to my surpise, much better than what I am providing now!

What I struggle doing with my kids is entering their world. What do you mean? I am talking about getting to know what they like and liking that also. See, I don't like playing Barbies. Let me be more clear. I hate playing Barbies! I start yawning and within about 10 minutes I have figured out why it is time for dad to get up and go take care of bigger better things.

The discovery is that if the only thing I am asking them to do is enter my world, they will not see their world as being important. Ultimately they will go looking for people they can take care of. Meaning people that need them. In order for me to show my children that I am interested in them, I have to enter their world. Become intersted in the things that interest them.