Don’t Bull Doze Through Boyhood

In true boy fashion my four year old son waited anxiously for his sister to leave the living room to begin the punishing. As soon as she was no where to found or heard, Luke started looking for opportunity to destroy. Now in the world of six year old and four year old toys are home swims with two different sets. One of those sets includes Barbie’s, stuff animals, and Pretty Pony’s. The other set is made up of 4 wheel trucks, heavy construction machinery, and Diego.
Unfortunately today a poor brown and white colt found itself left behind to be the sacrifice for the new remote control bull dozer. Now we are not just talking any bull dozer, we are talking about a bull dozer with a big scoop shovel on the front and a power jack hammer on the back. Almost like he has seen this take place before, Luke lined up the fallen down pony and backed up the bull dozer. Soon as they were lined up he pulverized the pony with the power jack hammer.

As I was watching this take place I asked myself the question, “who did he learn this from?” How did my son know that of all things that could be demolished by a jack hammer a horse would probably go the fastest? Within seconds I remembered a small passage in a book by John Eldredge. Elderdge writes “a boy wants to be powerful. That’s what’s behind the superhero thing. To be powerful, and dangerous, a force to be reckoned with-that is the heart of the warrior emerging.” He didn’t need to learn this from anyone! This is hard wired into the genes of every little boy that is given an environment to foster his skills in becoming “a force to be reckoned with.” He didn’t learn it from me, but it would not take a rocket scientist to take it away from him. One area of our family’s life that I have recently learned can take that away from him is this idea of being in a hurry.

What does it take to NOT rush through boyhood? I begin to think it is a more difficult task than we imagined. Not rushing through boyhood takes persistence and an ability to turn away from what the world says you should become. What the world says a boy should become is overly involved. Does anyone besides me have a new part time job going through paper work that comes home with your children from school trying to decide what you will and will not involve your children in? I said to my wife the other day that it is harder to keep your kids from having a busy schedule than it would be too get involved too much. In one of Eldredge’s CD’s he made mention of the fact that they only allow one child per sport season to participate. This means in the fall one boy will do a sport and then in spring one of the other boys could do a sport. Before you and your family are inundated with possibilities, I would challenge you to ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish with your kid. What do you want them to look like and be by the time they are 5 years old, 10 years old, 20 years old. Having them rush around too many nights a week will take the influence away from you and give it to someone else that might not have the same investment.

Another opportunity to slow life down is to give your time to your son. Do you think my son gets a kick out of my efforts at work? Does he care about how are 401K is doing through the chaos of the financial crisis? NO!!! Use the ottoman to set up a jumping ramp for the four wheelers, now he cares. Luke loves for me to engage him. I mean really engage! He loves to put a puzzle together with me, and read with me, and wrestle with me. Sit down; get invested in the creativity your son or daughter is coming up with. It does not count to have your to-do list on one side of you while you hold a hot wheel with the other hand. Full engagement takes effort and it takes your mental energy moving toward your children.

“I just don’t have the time Bob.” Really! Well my argument is you can’t afford to miss the time. You want a sure fire way of creating another “Cats in the Cradle” song, leave your kids to play by themselves and never have a dad that gets in there with them. It is the American tragedy that is plaguing society. A fatherless son is a ticking time bomb. Dad, you were created for such a time as this. You were made for this son, for this daughter. Don’t let the enemy keep you distracted from participating in your child’s life. You are the perfect match and are fully equipped, through relationship in God, to be a life changing dad in the life of your kids. Hold back the time and keep fighting to protect the time children so that you are the primary influence.